For more than seven years now I’ve dealt with on and off bouts of depression. None have been particularly awful, but the indescribable feelings of low mood and reduced energy do come and go enough to be noticeable in my life. Sometimes they are fueled by stress that is not handled correctly. Other times they just come with no real basis, sorta like a migraine headache.

Yesterday, I was feeling good most of the day until about 4 p.m., when I had this sore feeling that seemed to live somewhere deep inside of my head. It shot out little pulses of discomfort throughout my body and suddenly I had trouble concentrating on anything in front of me. My vision took on a skewed perspective and I felt then and there at my desk that I needed a nap.

When I got home I passed out in a chair. When I awoke, I felt considerably better. This morning, same thing again. I feel as if I want to sleep. Nothign much is bothering me. I think this is just the way that my brain works every so often. I am hoping it will go away, although I really wish I could hop under my desk and fall asleep!

It’s funny how the brain works with all of its circuits and chemistry. I believe in the soul but I also believe in the brain. Where one is, so likely is the other to be that caring or neglecting one means nurturing or abusing the other. To care for the brain is to give it exercise, patience, sleep and healthy food. To care for the soul is to give it forgiveness, humility and respite from the things that are beyond your control. As I’ve gotten slightly better over the years at doing both, waves of depression such as I felt yesterday and for a bit this morning because more of a blip on the radar rather than an oncoming stormfront. Still, vigilance and a sense of self-love is always needed. Emotions are complex things. Complex things require maitenance. Maintenance requires insight. Insight requires living and experiencing the joy and hurt of life. Depression is a part of that.

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