It was strange how I was just able to obsrve within myself how a little anger can impact and influence my thinking patterns. It’s interesting that I was able to sit in the impartial observer seat for a little while, noticing how frustration over something was causing me to think very negatively.

A few hours ago, I returned to my apartment from a nice fulfilling run in which I felt myself right in the moment most of the way, not thinking about work or money or anything else that my mind tends to want to drift off towards. My roommate and I had a minor argument about something and although I acknowledged he was right, I still felt a well of anger inside of me. The conflict was resolved, it didn’t involve shouting or anything, but for some reason, I felt mad. Mad at constructive and relavent criticism coming from this person. I went and took a shower and did some energy exercises and yet I still felt this negativity peppering the way I felt. As I drove to get a cup of coffee, everyone on the street, everything around me seemed to irritate me. At first I was mad at myself for feeling angry, but then I understood that I was in a beneficial situation. I was actually watching my mood change, observing a cause and effect relationship between my thoughts and my mood. Suddenly, it felt alright to be a bit angry, to acknowledge it, not judge it or try to bury it, but to see how it works.

Its alright to be angry, so long as you dont punch holes in the wall!

It's alright to be angry, so long as you don't punch holes in the wall! (that's not me right there)

I was angy because of the perfect shit storm of things coming at once; returning to work tomorrow after a few days off, something my roommate had said during our disagreement, and the fact that some of my days off were spent making repairs to something that was not my responsibility. All of these factors are reasonable in contributing to feeling anger. It’s alright to feel angry sometimes.

That said, I’m choosing to do somethign alright with it; to accept it as a lesson and to appreciate being able to witness how anger works without beating up on myself. Since sitting there with my  coffee, noticing my negative thoughts and accepting them without standing in judgment of myself, the anger has lost some of its punch and I actually feel quit better. Strange how these things work.

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