I’m a big fan of the Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi. A family member of mine who is a counselor gave me a copy a few years ago when I was really struggling with self-confidence issues and had ballooned to about 220 lbs! (though I’m not sure the weight was why they suggested the book).

That was in the spring of 2006 and some of the concepts in the workbook seemed daunting. It was hard to read that each person has worth, particularly because months before I’d been laid off from my first post-college job, was single (still am) and had next to no money (still don’t!).

Two months ago I revisited the book, which is modular. It’s format is like any other self-help workbook in that it requires a good deal of effort to not only read it but do the exercises. Schiraldi, like my other favorite self-help author David Burns, emphasizes the power of thinking, that we sometimes have overvalued ideas and distortions in our thinking that are the direct result of issues in our lives – generally speaking, our earlier years. Both authors teach that it’s how you think that in many ways determines how you feel. Thinking is more than half the battle in daily life.

To grow up feeling that one needs to have good grades, good looks and good athletic ability to have any worth, when one reaches his or her adulthood they will certainly have a disadvantage in negotiating the day-to-day challenges of existence. So much of how we feel is how we think. If a person succeeds five times in landing new customers for his company but on the sixth time fails to do so, the law of  averages would  indicate  that  he’s  pretty  successful. Still there are many people who are totally unable to accept any type of failure or set back in their life (I know, I’m too often guilty of that) so that they feel they must be successful all the time or nearly all the time to be happy. They must succeed to be worthwhile. That is a thinking pattern that can lead to a very miserable life. That and other distortions of thinking are what Burns and Schiraldi emphasize hold people back from acknowledging their core value and the blessings of day-to-day existence. It’s very easy to do.

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